- Aperture: f/8
- Focal Length: 105mm
- ISO: 200
- Shutter: 1/59 sec
- Camera: NIKON D80
I hated to cover up the last picture as it’s the best I’ve taken in a while, but sifting through my images today in hopes of producing a year-end slide show, I realized a few things: I have some damned good images that never would have been made if I hadn’t forced myself to shoot daily; I haven’t produced much work this year; I haven’t documented my life OR Cowboy’s life very well; I don’t have a cohesive set to explain what this year has been for me, what I’ve done, where I’ve been, what made me happy, what made me sad.
I miss capturing my emotions, my memories, in that way. I miss the early years when photobloggers posted like crazy. When everyone stopped, I lost my impetus to continue. It makes me sad to look back over the work from those years, because I miss those people. I miss the camaraderie we shared. I miss the friendships I made.
Everything became so serious this year. I’m lost in a haze of writing about things that don’t interest me like the TVA coal spill and the Big Three bailout. Yeah, I’ve written for TIME. Yeah, I’ve written a slew of Monitor stories. Yeah, I’ve picked up one or two new clients.
I haven’t devoted much time to fun or leisure. I barely remember what either word means. Cowboy provides what few breaks I’ve allowed over the past six months. He loves frisbee and is incredibly athletic, with a five foot vertical leap and the ability to sail through the open windows of SUVs. (Yes, I’ve seen him do this.) It’s difficult to throw balls for him because he catches them in mid-air. Perhaps next year we’ll try flyball or agility competitions. Then again, maybe we’ll just keep going to the park and goofing off.
Whatever we do, I need to go back to daily shooting. I need a break from the constant writing, because it’s killing my enjoyment of words and leaving me tapped out creatively and drained emotionally. Something has to change next year.
Music: That Girl is a Cowboy by Garth Brooks (lyrics)