• Aperture: f/2.8
  • Focal Length: 200mm
  • Shutter: 1/500 sec
  • Camera: NIKON D1H

Northport, Alabama

Why a cat? Why not a cat. This is Alexander, looking out the bathroom window toward Boogie’s grave. I like to think he is saying hello, remembering his friend, but in truth I think he is probably watching the squirrels play. No matter. Boogie enjoyed looking out this window as well. I wish I had taken a picture of him doing it. Time passes. Seventeen days.

Someone wrote to me today and said that he is always happy to see no words from me because he takes that as an indication that I’m having a decent day. Actually, that’s not true. No words from me means one of three things: I am either too tired to write, have no real purpose in the photo I have posted, or — most often — I am extremely down. Beyond words.

My decent days are more like today. Just a hodge podge of random thoughts, snippets here and there. No overriding passion guides my hand tonight, no storm rages within. I have managed to exhaust myself from grief. For the moment at least.

So, because I am dog-tired and in the plateau of a high-low-high phase, I present a smattering of thoughts of little consequence in no particular order:

— I performed three separate random acts of birthday kindness that made me smile this week, probably because as Alec so succinctly pointed out this evening, I seem to “really dig the Scorpios.” A lot. Happy 40th birthday, C.

— I shot high school football tonight, as I have every Friday night since I was 15. I wasn’t into it and the pictures suffered.

— I am moderately cheered by the aspect of creating an amazing memorial garden for Boogie, filled with Japanese maples and all manner of wildlife. I’m busy clipping magazine articles and making plans to plant daffodils and crocuses for springtime. An angel will arrive tomorrow to adorn his grave.

— I have plans to finish staining my bookcases tomorrow so that I can paint my dining room and finish unloading my books that were packed away during the move. The dining room was Boogie’s favorite spot, and it is very important to me that I finish this project.

— A surprise phone call this week put a smile on my face that made the people in Target wonder what secret I was harboring.

— I haven’t been home in four months, the longest I have ever gone without seeing my family since moving away to college.

— I currently have more hair products in my cabinets than I have had in years, probably due to the fact that my hair is longer than it has been in years. I also have fingernails attempting to grow.

— We had approximately three trick-or-treaters for our first Halloween in the new house. All teenagers, all dressed more or less as they would dress on the weekends. One sported an empty backpack and said he was a “college kid.” The other two informed me that they were “boys from the ‘hood.” Can’t argue with that logic.

— Canoes somehow wormed their way into my week twice. I spent an hour pondering a local news story about a “canoeist” rescuing a turtle. I’m glad no one held a gun to my head and forced me to decide if this was really a word, because I would have bet my life that it wasn’t. It really is a word. What else would you call a person who mans a canoe? In the second instance, I photographed an 80th birthday party which featured a large canoe in the center of the room and on the cake. Turns out that the birthday boy’s claim to fame was that when he was a freshman in college pledging to a fraternity, he hired a prostitute to sit naked in the middle of a canoe while he paraded her through downtown Tuscaloosa to the fraternity house, where he promptly deposited the canoe and its cargo in the front parlor.

— I’m finally, finally, FINALLY finished with the boxing DVD. Now I’m building a website for another photographer.

— I’m woefully behind on my interpersonal relationships. Porf, Sarah, Sparrow — I love you all. I just suck at staying in contact.

— I helped an elderly lady find her way to the checkout in Home Depot this week because she seemed so frail and lost. She reminded me of my grandmother, but mostly I helped her because she reminded me of myself.

— I feel okay at the moment, which is damned refreshing for a change. I think that maybe, just maybe, I will sleep well tonight.

Music: Impromptu Sad Mix – Glycerine by Bush, Breathe (2AM) by Anna Nalick, When the Curious Girl Realizes She is Under Glass by Bright Eyes, Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh by Bright Eyes, Bowl of Oranges by Bright Eyes, Spent on Rainy Days by Bright Eyes, Mad World by Gary Jules, The World I Know by Collective Soul, Haunted by Evanescence, I Hope You’ll Be Missing Me by The Perishers, Wild by Poe, 29 Palms by Robert Plant, and Save Me by Shinedown.

Favorite Pics (in no particular order): ”Friends” by Zac at Photoflavor
”Honest Eyes” by Marina at Lost in Shots
”Untitled (Page 128)””Untitled (Page 54)”, and ”Untitled (Page 36)” by Judith at Judith Polakoff Photographs.

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