Seeking balance


Tuscaloosa, Alabama

It is easy to become consumed by this profession, easy to lose yourself, if that’s what you want.

Yesterday I was on my stomach photographing two-year-old twins for a furniture store ad; last night I was hanging from a balcony shooting a party overview; tonight I was upside down on a mall floor shooting dancers; this afternoon I was shooting gymnastics for the Utah Herald Journal. It felt good to be out, to feel the blood run through my veins, to shoot the breeze with the other photographers as we transmitted photos back to our papers.

Sometimes you just have to keep shooting, even when you don’t feel like it. Shoot through the darkness, shoot through the fear, shoot through the doubt, shoot through the pain. Tomorrow I will be somewhere else, shooting for someone else. And tomorrow night will find me as I am tonight, swilling black coffee as I pour over the day’s take, typing, editing, analyzing, killing time until my head unwinds enough for sleep.

Day runs into night runs into day again. Pixels blur on the screen. Today’s portfolio shot will be tomorrow’s fish wrap. Tonight’s jumble of words will be next week’s archives. It’s almost surreal — like living in a parallel universe that always spits me out at the same portal — 3 a.m. staring at shadows on the ceiling, alone with the thoughts in my head. You can’t stay lost forever. No matter how hard you try.

Music of the day: Turn the Page by Bob Seger

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