Northport, Alabama

Yes, I know, it’s another flower, and a cliche at that. Would you rather see a pretty flower, or the mannequins I shot today for a store ad? That’s what I thought.

The truth of the matter is that I haven’t been feeling all that well. The weather is gray and gloomy, and so am I. If Bette Midler was right, then life should be on an upswing by springtime. Sometimes I wonder how much I will lose in this blind pursuit. Every day, I pick up my camera and I shoot — something. And every night I lie in bed and I wonder, when will it all fall into place?

I think about the disappointments and the doors that have closed and I wonder why I continue to chase this elusive dream. Why can’t it be enough to just shoot for myself? Why must I always be yearning for more? Why must I continue to send my heart out there, only to have it broken?

But then I remember — it is because I am a photographer, because I have always been a photographer, for as long as I can remember. It is my life’s blood, my passion, my calling, and such pursuits demand no less. I have been a writer. I have been an editor. I could be those things again. But no, I have chosen this thorny path, and it will take me to the end — wherever that may be. Here’s hoping that the rain is at least helping me grow.